A Shared Narrative

As a gay therapist, I understand our individual experiences are as varied and unique as everyone else's, and yet, at the same time, there is a common story that unites us. Most of us realize we are different at a very early age. Sadly, this realization compels many of us to protect ourselves from rejection and homophobia by hiding an essential part of our identity from our families, the world, and sometimes even ourselves.

The Damaging Impact of "The Closet"

Unfortunately, staying hidden has serious negative consequences for our mental health even as it protects of us from rejection and physical harm. "The Closet" can cause gay men to develop deep-rooted insecurities and fears, which can lead some to struggle with social isolation, low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. Others may seek acceptance and validation through self-defeating or even destructive ways. Regardless of how accepting and supportive our families and friends are once we decide to come out, very few of us make it out completely unscathed.

The Struggle to Connect

Like many gay men, you may have moved to San Francisco hoping to build a family of friends and find a safe haven free from bigotry and discrimination only to find yourself continuing to long for love and acceptance. The same insecurities we develop when we hide ourselves as children may make it difficult to develop deep and meaningful relationships as adults. To paraphrase one gay cultural icon: if you can't love yourself, how are you going to love someone else?

Unfortunately, we're also living through a pandemic and turbulent sociopolitical climate. These circumstances are only increasing our social isolation and amplifying our negative feelings, making it even more difficult to engage with our community and build authentic relationships. While social media and dating apps provide easy and efficient ways to stay connected and meet new people, they may not provide the type of intimacy you desire.

Heal. Grow. Evolve.

If you find yourself feeling disconnected from our community, anxious, depressed, or if you find yourself seeking validation in self-defeating ways, I can help. I will provide an affirming and validating space, so you can heal from the damaging effects of homophobia and self-doubt and develop more positive ways of thinking and feeling about yourself and our community. In doing so, you will be better equipped to build the life and authentic meaningful relationships you want.