Individual Counseling for Gay, Bi and Queer Men in San Francisco, CA

A Shared Narrative

As a gay therapist, I understand our individual experiences are as varied and diverse as everyone else's, and so we struggle with the same mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression and relationship issues. At the same time, there are also challenges that are unique to us and our community. Most of us realize we are different at a very early age. Sadly, this realization compels many gay, bi and queer men to protect ourselves from rejection and discrimination by hiding an essential part of our identities from our families, the world, and sometimes even ourselves.

Unfortunately, staying hidden can have negative consequences for our mental health even as it protects of us from rejection and physical harm. It can cause gay, bi and queer men to develop deep-rooted insecurities and fears, which can lead some to struggle with self doubt, low self-esteem and social isolation. Others may seek acceptance and validation through self-defeating or even destructive ways. Regardless of how accepting and supportive our families and friends are once we decide to come out, very few of us make it out completely unscathed.

The Struggle to Connect

Gay, bi and queer relationships can be especially hard to navigate. Afterall, unlike straight people who are usually friends with the same sex and romantic partners with the opposite sex, we often face the unique challenge of looking for friends and romantic partners with other gay, bi and queer men, and that can really complicate things. At the same time, we still grow up in a straight man's world, and sadly, are instilled with the same heteronormative ideas of masculinity, including the belief that men shouldn't express their emotions or be vulnerable.

Furthermore, the same insecurities gay, bi and queer men develop when they hide themselves as children may make it even more difficult to develop deep and meaningful relationships as adults. While social media and dating apps offer easy and efficient ways to stay connected and meet new people, they may not provide the type of intimacy you truly desire.

Unfortunately, we're also living in a very turbulent sociopolitical climate where the rights of the LGBTQ+ community and many others are currently under assault, and despite not being as serious of a threat, COVID-19 is still a concern for many. These circumstances are only exacerbating our negative feelings, making it even more difficult to engage with our community and build meaningful relationships. 

Heal. Grow. Evolve.

If you're a gay, bi or queer man and find yourself struggling with anxiety, depression, a major life transition, relationship issues or social isolation, I can help. I will provide an affirming and validating space, so you can explore your thoughts and feelings openly without fear of judgement, heal from the damaging effects of discrimination and self-doubt and develop more positive ways of thinking and feeling about yourself and our community. In doing so, you will be better equipped to build the life and authentic meaningful relationships you want.